BULLIED by a Coworker.

Sometimes our bully doesn’t show up when we are kids, but much later in life

For the past 7 months, I have been working in a very uncomfortable environment. I would even call it toxic. My sister put it best. “You are being bullied”. She is right. It took me a while to see that.

I never thought that at 43 years old, I would encounter my first bully.

It makes me realize that when we tell our kids to stand up to bullies, we are asking too much of them. It makes me realize something else. And this one is tough for me to come to terms with. …


I will never forget the call. I was at my desk at work. I knew my husband Jason was having a meeting with his boss that morning. I looked at the clock. It was only 9:30 am. I was surprised to see him calling so quickly. “I have been relieved of my position as the Campus Pastor.” The feeling that washed over me was shock, pain, and fear all at once. “Why? I don’t understand. Why?” I think I asked “why” about a dozen times that day and in the days to follow. …


Dear Friend,

I understand those times you think you are not good enough. Times that you feel called but someone else tells you that you’re not. Times someone tells you that a different skill or personality would be better. Faster. More. Never quite enough. I feel those times that you are the scapegoat for someone else. Anyone else.

Friend, I understand that feeling that washes over you when you want to grow God’s kingdom but people want to grow their own. I see that pain when someone speaks against you, and God tells you to rest. I see the uncertainty…


Micah 6:8 says to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly. Act justly. I have a passion for justice. I seek it to a fault. If I see an injustice done it bothers me to my core and I feel the need to expose it even when it is not my place. There are times I feel regret once I fight for it. Was it my place to do that? Sometimes the answer to that is yes and sometimes the answer is no. I need to act justly. …


A few years ago I set out to lose some weight. I set healthy goals and established some healthy disciplines. Through hard work and determination, I lost about 15 pounds. That was my goal. I should have celebrated and been content with the results. I was not. Two more pounds would get me into the next tens number. I can do that. Once I did that, I thought, only five more pounds will get me to a number I haven’t seen since before I had kids. If I get there, I will be happy. I wasn’t. …


Boundaries but Not Walls

Photo by J W on Unsplash

I recently wrote a blog on trusting God. A day after I wrote it, the question came to my mind “who do you trust in this world?” As a woman in ministry and a pastor’s wife, I have often thought about this. I have talked with other pastors’ wives about who our people are. It is an odd shift going from my thoughts on trusting God to trusting people. But it is a real and pressing question to many of us.

Back when I was a newly married pastor’s wife, I didn’t fully comprehend the complexities…


Photo by Jasmin Ne on Unsplash

We all have things that take us back. When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I would talk about baby names. There were certain names that I would dismiss right away because I worked in a daycare when I was 17. Even though I liked the name, I would associate that name with a child who threw tantrums, or kicked my shins when I put them in time out. They brought me back and the memories were not good.

Certain songs bring me back to a place in a flash. Not always a place that I…


So many times I have been so tempted to say to someone “just wait”. Just wait until you are hurt the way you hurt me. Just wait until you are a Pastor and someone treats you the way you are treating my husband. Just wait until you feel as bad as I do. Just wait until I prove you wrong. Just wait until the day you realize what you did. Just wait.

Being in ministry is painful. It just is. There is no way around it. One problem with saying “Just Wait” is you still feel the pain and hurt…


I am winning. But I have a confession to make. I can hold a grudge like nobody’s business. My whole life I have been a grudge holder.

A few years ago I didn’t accept the FaceBook friend request of a childhood friend because in 5th grade she hurt my feelings. I am confident I could win a medal in the Grudge Olympics, if there was ever such a thing. I recognize this about myself. I am working on it. I know it is not a very good thing to deal with when you are in ministry. …


The broken parts reveal the beauty inside.

It has been one year since the shock and pain rocked us. 2019 was painful. One year later my husband and I walked on a beautiful beach in Sarasota. We reflected on the hurt, the challenges of the year, and also we marveled at the way the Lord ordained our steps. Seeing how He opened doors and made a way has made us so thankful. No doubt He redeemed things and placed us where He called us. Which is so exciting. …

Joy

Pastor's wife, boy mom, coffee lover, just someone who wants to make a difference…

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